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Savage Half Breeds Or-Dayned Champions

Listed in: Football

Dear Members of the Cheap Seats Fantasy Football League,

Four months ago, we gathered to draft our teams, and our squad was universally trashed. None of you respected our mid-round choices, like Donovan McNabb, or our rookie flier, Joseph Addai. There was grudging acceptance of our selection of Larry Johnson in the first round, but it's pretty hard not to take Johnson in that spot, so, in reality, we knew that nobody had any respect for this team or our abilities. Well, look at the scoreboard now, bitches. You see which team didn't lose its last game? That's right. The Savage Half Breeds, that's who.

It started in July, when we researched every single available player, from Teyo Johnson to DJ Shockley. We even kept a short list of guys who might come out of retirement during the season. That dedication and preparation in the summer led to victory in the winter.

None of you could match our skills on the waiver wire. We got more out of Bernard Berrian and Jerricho Cotchery than many of you got out of your front line starters. Even though the Half Breeds were awesome on draft night, we showed through our waiver wire acquisitions that we have more heart and desire to win than you do. You can't quantify staying up until 4am studying stat lines, searching for trends. Champions don't sleep when a championship is within reach.

You said we were lucky to get this far in the playoffs, because we were starting JP Losman and Ron Dayne. You said we had an easy schedule. But you know what? Y'all knew that when the season started, y'all drafted your own damn teams, and none of y'all could make it up the mountain with us.

We’d like to thank our parents, God, Southeast Jerome, and Coach Shanahan for dumping Jake Plummer and going with Jay Cutler to tide us over while McNabb was on the sidelines.

We are the champions, friends. No time for losers, 'cause we are the champions of the world.

Sincerely,
Ben Valentine and David Arnott

See also: Fantasy Football, NFL

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Zachary Geballe
Ben Valentine
David Arnott
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