Nice work. I have an even more egregious example of joke-recycling from him that really sticks in my craw. These are exact cut-and-pastes:

From Simmons 2007 Grammys Running Diary:

9:39 — Best moment of the night: LeAnn Rimes and Mandy Moore coming out to present as the camera cuts to Jamie Foxx studying them with one of those, “Wait, have I been with either of them yet?” looks on his face. Classic. He’s the best.

From Simmons' 2006 Rose Bowl (USC-Texas) Running Diary:

"8:17 -- Highlight of the game so far: LeAnn Rimes belting out the National Anthem, followed by a cut to Matt Leinart with a pensive, "Have I had her yet?" look on his face. He's the best. We need to figure out a way to get him on the Jets next year."

Now THAT'S just hackey.

Okay, a humorous writer is re-using jokes (the horror! keening and gnashing of teeth!). Like no other comedian has ever re-used a joke before. Get over it or don't read the man's work.

Disagreed, Greg. It's all up for criticism and discussion.

I dont hate Simmons as much as some people do, but he's essentially been writing the same column and re-using the same jokes over and over for the last 3 years.

Greg. I re-use jokes and phrases a lot in my writing, and usually I don't care when I see other people doing it. Luke shows how Simmons has his form jokes and the like. However, do you see this as funny that he slammed ARod with a pretty harsh insult that it turns out actually applies to him? Do you find it odd that he hasn't been more open about ghosting his wife's work? Whichever way you read it, it's very weird for a guy whose reputation was built on dispensing with the bullshit. If he ghosted his wife's work, then he lied to us, because he said at the beginning of football season he wouldn't be touching her words. I enjoyed those sidebars, but always suspected Simmons wrote them himself, and now that there's evidence he did, it kinda detracts from it all. He'd established who his Boston Sports Guy character is, but he didn't let on that HE was creating a persona called the Sports Gal. At the least, he said SHE'D establish it.

Sounds a little far-fetched. Hackery is a big word to throw out.

So a guy puts a personal joke between him and his wife in a column, and a few years later a blogger kills him for it. i guess he just cant win.

Wow, this is the weakest attack on Simmons I've ever seen. Congratulations.

Haha, here come the Sports Guy defenders.

At the very least you caught Bill Simmons doing the exact same thing (cheating at scrabble) which he then projected on Arod. Too funny.

I agree with SWANKYMODE. This could be a running joke between him and his wife. I would imagine when he was cheating against his wife, he was joking, waiting to get caught. I guess it's impossible that, while trying to think of an example of cheating, he recalls a humorous episode from his own life ?
I know hating on Simmons is the new thing and all, but people spend way too much time on this.

Not to rehash, but as a Simmons reader for awhile, I agree that he has lost some edge over the years, or maybe he's the same but everyone else has gotten edgier (more likely) -

but it has seemed all year as though he has been assisting his wife with the columns. Not quoting here but the POV has seemed genuinely female while the style has remained "clunky Sports Guy" a little too convincingly. Most likely, he takes things she actually says and then writes it out from there. Not a fabrication exactly, but he shouldn't have said he wasn't touching the columns, he shouldn't have said anything and felt securely within the bounds of artistic license.

Holy shit dude, get a life.
Just... wow.

And I ain't no Simmons defender either. Go outside and get some fresh air, homey. Look at the clouds for a minute.

I have often said comics of any sort tend to run their cycles like running backs - after about 5 years they get worn down. That being said, there is nothing wrong with what Simmons does, George Carlin has been doing the "I have stuff/ you have shit" joke for years among others. Perhaps Simmons would be best to venture out of his box, take a sabbatical from ESPN and sports, and perhaps write a book on movies, music, or the fundamental philosophy of Islamic Inuits. Anything non-sports.
As for him writing his wife's stuff, if any man went that deep into the psyche of Britney Spears I would be really worried.

wowza. i'm with d-money. sholdn't you be trying to solve the jfk asassination or something? i'm pretty tired of simmons myself, but this is definitely sad. just a thought, but i wonder if it's at all conceivable that his wife, you know, actually read her husband's book? maybe she thought it was a funny joke and used it herself. i've done the same thing before, as has pretty much everyone else on the planet, including you.......and get your hands out of your pants

D-Money: Is the person who writes a few paragraphs pointing out evidence that a guy is ghostwriting for his wife the one who needs to get a life, or is it the person who spends two precious minutes posting that he needs to get a life? We're all having fun, here, right? Pull up a stool. Have a beer on me.

It's funny, every time they link to an anti-Simmons on Deadspin, legions of Simmons defenders come out to insult the Simmons blogger, usually accusing of needing a life, no matter how quick/mild the criticism of Simmons is (like this one). You can set your watch to it. And half of them say they aren't big Simmons fans, but just need to point out how PATHETIC it is for bloggers to take two seconds to hate on a writer for being a lazy hack.

I'm starting to wonder if it's not Simmons and his crew doing it...you KNOW they must read Deadspin.

I'm a long time Simmons basher for all the reasons listed above (hypocrisy, reused 80's, early 90's jokes. We get it. You watched 90210) but when he and his legions get annoyed at bloggers it's just idiotic. Simmons is a blogger who made is name riffing mainstream sports. He critics sports announcers and says he'd be better doing it. My question Simmons fans is this; why is it okay when Simmons rips mainstream media but NOT okay when people rip him for it?

OK. So you stirred up some reaction here, just as I suggested you were trying to do (in our real-life conversation). But no one seems to have pointed out what may be the real truth you've discovered: Simmons's wife is ghost-writing for him, not the other way around.

I thought Simmons might be writing for his wife but, she might have just picked up his style from reading his work for so long. What I'm trying to say is...uhh...who gives a fuck?

http://www.toomuchsports.com

Seriously if you dont like it, dont read his work. I am a defender because of the stupid arguments some of you bloggers have with him. Id like to see you do as much material as he has and not reuse at least one of your quotes. I believe that the Sports Gal wrote this piece, who really gives a s$%^ if he helped her out. Get a life!!!

It's funny, every time they link to an anti-Simmons on Deadspin, legions of Simmons defenders come out to insult the Simmons blogger, usually accusing of needing a life, no matter how quick/mild the criticism of Simmons is (like this one).

Thank you, Mr. Eleganza. I don't understand the hostility of people who read this. I mean, really, I couched it as best I could. READ THE FIRST LINE, PEOPLE. It's not like I'm saying Simmons is a bastard mofo ever and I'm never gonna read him again... Rather, I'm kinda disappointed that one of my favorite writers from the past few years did this weird bait and switch, and now my relationship with his work has changed.

Defending the guy is ridiculous. He is a hack writer who was funny b/c he embodied David v. Goliath - Boston v. Yankees, guerrilla media v. the ESPN corp. machine. Now, David became goliath and he works for the machine so he ain't funny. He's just another arrogant, hypocritical ESPN talking head who wastes the company’s vast resources morphing sports reporting into People Magazine.

It doesn't matter now if you urge people to "read the first line." A good number will have seen little more than the Deadspin link and your headline. Read the first line? How about read the entire piece and put some brains into it. I, for one, didn't see you as calling Simmons a cheat and a liar of the highest order per se, but rather as using his phrase as part of a satiric jab. Unfortunately, some people just read the headline and then reacted.

You didn't write anything as nasty as some of the idiots sincere Simmons supporters in their responses, nor even as directly condemning as Simmons's own words about A-Rod. Yet, what did you expect? This is the internet, no?

Oops. Meant to strike the word "idiots" in the above post. My apologies to all idiots who may take offense.

Ace2Eight: Amen.

Maybe Bill Simmons described A-Rod as being a scumbag-type person with a "crime" he has committed because he admits he's a scumbag? And maybe his wife just wanted to show how much of a scumbag he is. Really though, their (Bill's and his wife's) articles read too similarly to be a coincidence (I think)