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Golden Dome Theatre: Demetrius Jones Faces The Man

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Notre Dame might release Demetrius Jones from his scholarship, after all, as long as the sophomore quarterback transfers to a school that is not on the Irish football schedule...

The Man: Son, you're 20 years old, and I'm going to ensure that your lifelong dream ends forever.

Dude: Wait, what? What's that?

The Man: I know I said you'd have a chance to prove yourself this year, but we've decided to give someone else that chance to prove himself.

Dude: That sucks. I'm outta here, then. Guess I'll have to chase my dream elsewhere.

The Man: You weren't listening, were you? I'm going to ensure that your dream ends. You can either stay right where you are and live vicariously through my new favorite, or you can pay through your ass for the privilege of chasing your dream.

Dude: That's not how it usually works, though, is it? Couldn't you just, I dunno, snap your fingers and allow me to find some other Man to finance me?

The Man: Of course I could. But, I repeat, you weren't listening: Your dream is dead. Just be grateful I lied to you and gave you false hope that your dream might have once had even a faint heartbeat.

Dude: Why?

The Man: ...

See also: Notre Dame

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