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Emails Hacked From MLB's Internal Messaging System Right After the World Series

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From: sproctor@mlb.com
To: ncolletti@dodgers.com (The Nedster)
Subject: u wont bleve this

aftr u sed joe s comng to mnage, my rit arm ripd it self out its socket. i had 2 lock teh frnt door 2 keep it from running out. what trickeration is goin on?

scott

***

From: sboras@borascorp.com
To: arodriguez@mlb.com (Alex Rodrimoneymoneymoney$guez)
Subject: The Same Thing We Do Every Night: Take Over The World

A Roddy McRod Rod,

The plan has three prongs, all stabbing concurrently. One, we make it seem inevitable that someone will offer you 35 million bucks, so that people start at the current level and work up. Two, you're a victim, baby! Don't blame the fans and media, because everyone does that; we'll blame your teammates without blaming them and say you don't like the direction the Yankees are going, and that we have to question the current roster's commitment to winning. Three, there is no three, because Alex Rodriguez sells like porno in middle school! Like Whoppers at fat camp! Like Fall Out Boy to jaded youth who are too young to understand Emily Dickinson! I do believe I detect the smell of cash in the air. Do as I say, and we'll be taken care of, bro.

Rock on,
Scotty B

***

From: jmoyer@mlb.com
To: rjohnson@mlb.com (Randy "Basses Loaded" Johnson), jfranco2@mlb.com (Julio "I Played With Hendrix" Franco), lgonzalez4@mlb.com (Luis "Animal, Not Gonzo" Gonzalez)
Subject: Sweet Song!

Guys, I found the perfect song for us to cover. Let's figure this out next time the band gets together.

--Jamie

***

From: jbeckett@mlb.com
To: dodowd@rockies.com (Oh Danny Boy), churdle@rockies.com (C&H Like the Sugar)
Subject: World Series

Your mom.

Josh

See also: MLB

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