Biggest game of the season (so far) in Jacksonville and a bunch of crap. Enjoy my Simpsons quotes.

Picks are against spread, home teams bolded.

This Week

Ben: 6-8
David: 8-6
John: 5-9
Zach: 6-8

Bills +3 vs. Ravens

Ben: Ravens. Really, can the Ravens first half schedule be any easier? The Jets, Rams AND Bills. At least this one is on the road I suppose. I'll also be hypocritically rooting for the Bills, because I'm forced to start Trent Edwards in my work league thanks to a V. Young injury…Wrong.
David: Bills. Why do the Bills play teams close at home? I don’t know, but I’m going to guess the banged up Ravens won’t score big, and that means there could be under 28 points total in this one. Right.
John: Ravens. Baltimore is banged up and not playing well, but you have to like their defense against a rookie quarterback, right? Wrong.
Zach: Ravens. Mmm...Cupcakes. Wrong.

Lions -2.5 vs. Buccaneers

Ben: Buccaneers. I have no clue, so I'm taking the points. Wrong.
David: Lions. Jeff Garcia will revert to the Real Jeff Garcia soon enough. May as well be this week. Right.
John: Lions. This is an extremely tough game to pick. The Bucs have been playing above their heads and seem to win every close game they’re in. The Lions on the other hand have an explosive offense I don’t think Tampa Bay can match. Right.
Zach: Buccaneers. It's Dr. Hillbilly vs. the Iron Yuppie...one of these men will actually be unmasked and killed in the ring! Wrong.

Dolphins +16.5 vs. Patriots

Ben: Dolphins. I don't care if they cover every time, I will not take a team that has to win by three scores. In other news, the Dolphins placed Trent Green on I.R. Saturday. Not that Daunte Culpepper is still an All Pro or anything, but um… I think quite a few "I told you so"s are being heard around the league. By the way, a 36 year old QB who had concussion problems or a QB who was a great player and was rushed back too soon from a knee injury? McNabb, crazy, I tell you! Wrong.
David: Patriots. I’ll be at the NASCAR race or on the road during this game. If I hear they won 62-0, I’ll nod and go back to whatever I’m doing. Right.
John: Patriots. They might let down in this game, but I honestly think this is the best team the league has seen since the Cowboys teams of the early nineties. Unless someone gets hurt on offense, how is anyone going to stop this group? Right.
Zach: Patriots. You tried, and you failed. The lesson is, never try. Right.

Saints -9 vs. Falcons

Ben: Falcons. Only because I wrote how Michael Vick had value to the Falcons that stats had missed in the past, evidenced by the Falcons putrid offensive output this year. So of course, they'll score 40 in this one. Right.
David: Saints. Joey Harrington isn’t all that bad. I mean, he’s got a crappy line, crappy receivers, and… Oh, he’s not starting this week? Atlanta’s starting over with Byron Leftwich? Good times. Wrong.
John: Saints. No, I don’t think the Saints are back, the Falcons are just that awful. They could still be playing the Giants now, and I’m not sure they would have an offensive touchdown. Wrong.
Zach: Falcons.

Long before the Superdome,
Where the Saints of football play,
There's a city where the damned call home,
Hear their hellish rondelet:

New Orleans!
Home of pirates, drunks, and whores...
New Orleans!
Tacky, overpriced souvenir stores...

If you want to go to hell, you should take a trip
To the Sodom and Gomorrah of the Mississip':

New Orleans!
Stinking, rotten, vomiting, vile...
New Orleans!
Putrid, brackish, maggotty, foul...

New Orleans!
Crummy, lousy, rancid and rank...
New Orleans! Right.

Giants -9 vs. 49ers

Ben: Giants. The Niners and Rams might be the two worst teams in football. I will not take either this season unless they're playing one another and even then, I might just take the push. Right.
David: Giants. I’ve lost almost all hope for Alex Smith’s development as an NFL quarterback. I know he’s still the youngest starter in the league, yadda yadda yadda. The thing is, he’s still no good, and now he’s injured. Trent Dilfer is definitely no good. The only good news for the Niners is that they’ve got the secondary to deal with Plaxico, but they probably don’t have the front seven to deal with anyone halfway decent. Right.
John: 49ers. The Giants are due for a down week. The 49ers aren’t quite as bad as Atlanta, and will keep this game close. Alex Smith and Vernon Davis should play, and their two corners will hamper the Giants passing game. Wrong.
Zach: Giants. I'd bet my entire college fund on it. You got it. Moe, twenty-three dollars on New York! Right.

Redskins -7 vs. Cardinals

Ben: Redskins. Last week a person I was watching the Redskins/Packers game with said Jason Campbell was a mobile quarterback. In 2006 Campbell was outrushed by such fleet of foot QBs as Tom Brady and Jon Kitna, while also finishing with just 2 more yards than Matt Hasselbeck. But no, Donovan Mcnabb was way off with his assessment on black quarterbacks. In any case, Campbell will eventually make people realize his arm is what is going to make him a star in this league, not his legs. Wrong.
David: Redskins. Hurt Kurt Warner or Tim Rattay? I choose STAB MY EYES WITH TOOTHPICKS. Wrong.
John: Redskins. I know Kurt Warner might play, but even if he does I’m not sure he makes it through the game against this defense. Wrong.
Zach: Redskins. Cesspool, cesspool, cesspool! Wrong.

Texans +1 vs. Titans

Ben: Texans. No Vince Young? Not that I think Young's a great NFL QB at this stage, but Kerry Collins? I'd rather start Trent Edwards against the Baltimore defense. Oh wait… Wrong.
David: Texans. Vince can’t run. While he’ll be pumped to play in his hometown, he’s still not a good enough pocket passer to make up for the loss of his mobility. Wrong.
John: Texans. This is your typical toss-up game if you ask me. When in doubt pick the home team. Wrong.
Zach: Texans. This game is too close to call. But if you're one of those compulsive types who just has to bet, well, I don't know... um...Houston. Wrong.

Bengals -6.5 vs. Jets

Ben: Jets. Because the Kellen Clemens era should have started last week. The Jets are the type of franchise that would screw itself over by not testing him against a crappy secondary to see what he could do and by giving their quarterback who has no future with the team a chance to right himself against a bad team. Like I've said before, I love Chad. But it's time to find out what the Jets have here and because a win or close loss won't let that happen, that's exactly what's going to occur. Wrong.
David: Bengals. Man, the Jets are bad. Man the Bengals are struggling. I’ll take the team that has the capacity to score 35 points. Right.
John: Bengals. The Jets are awful, and I will ride the Bengals for one more week. This team has too much talent to keep losing games, and the Jets offense won’t be able to keep pace with the cats. Right.
Zach: Jets. Well of course New York seems bad if all you remember are the pimps and C.H.U.D.s. Wrong.

Raiders -3 vs. Chiefs

Ben: Chiefs. I'm not sure where this Herm Edwards bashing from the likes of Bill Simmons comes from. Yeah his clock management skills suck, but ask Zach how prevalent that is in the NFL today among "good" coaches. It's no longer a stretch to say he could make the playoffs for the fifth time in seven years as a head coach with teams that were not exactly world beaters. I know I'm paranoid, but come on, doesn't that have to make you wonder a little? Right.
David: Raiders. I’m less down on the Chiefs than I was three weeks ago. That doesn’t mean they’re any good. Wrong.
John: Raiders. I’ve been picking against KC all year, and have been continuously burned. But this is a rivalry game and Oakland should play them well at home. Wrong.
Zach: Raiders. And on an extremely suspicious play, the Raiders win! Wrong.

Cowboys -9.5 vs. Vikings

Ben: Cowboys. Dallas has a great passing offense which is the bane of the Vikings defense. I also think the Boys rush will make life difficult for Tarvaris Jackson. But on the bright side for TJ, last week he managed to escape the tag of worst starting QB in the league! I'd rather start Jackson over Vinny Testaverde AND Gus Frerotte, plus Tim Rattay. Right.
David: Cowboys. Adrian Peterson is awesome. But the Boys have too much firepower for the Vikes’ defense, which won’t be able to handle the Dallas passing attack. Right.
John: Cowboys. The 'Boys rebound big time coming off a blowout loss to the Pats. They’ll want a win heading into their bye week. They play well against the run and should be able to control Adrian Peterson, and Romo will feast on the Vikes dismal pass defense. Right.
Zach: Cowboys. Wow, Tom Landry's hat! Right.

Seahawks -8 vs. Rams

Ben: Seahawks. 0-16. It's seriously a realistic possibility this year. Down the stretch the Rams have one game remaining they MIGHT be favored in- week 13 against the Falcons at home. Their other games against bad teams (Niners, Rams, Cardinals, Bengals) are on the road and their home games (Seahawks, Browns, Steelers, Packers) are all against teams that are better than they are. If the Rams get to week 14 without a win, they will go 0-16. Right.
David: Seahawks. There’s no way in hell the Rams offense does anything in Seattle this week. Pair the quarterback injuries with the crowd noise, and I’m setting the over/under on television broadcasters’ uses of the word “ineffective” at 7. Right.
John: Rams. The Rams are awful… but the Seahawks aren’t much better. Take the points when two bad teams play one another. Wrong.
Zach: Seahawks. I like the Seahawks because they've got something to prove. Right.

Eagles -5 vs. Bears

Ben: Eagles. Bet you figure a McNabb comment is coming here. In the words of the immortal Dark Helmet- "HAHA FOOLED YOU!!" So Sexy Rexy wasn't the Bears' problem? I'm in shock. Seriously, the Bears are a Green Bay collapse from having 1 win this season. Glad to see the Super Bowl curse is alive and well after a one year layoff. (Or was it? Perhaps this is further credence that somehow there was a mix up and the Seahawks should have won that Super Bowl). Wrong.
David: Eagles. Chicago's defense has lost something. If Norv Turner is Exhibit A in the Coaches Matter argument, then Ron Rivera might be Exhibit B. Notice how I didn’t mention Brian Griese? Whoops. Wrong.
John: Bears. I’m not sure which team has been more unimpressive this season, or more disappointing. All I know is that the Eagles shouldn’t be giving 5 points to many teams in the league, especially not the “almost healthy” Bears. Right.
Zach: Eagles. Griese, you're cut. You too, Grossman. Orton, hand in your uniform, you're cut. Wrong.

Broncos +3.5 vs. Steelers

Ben: Steelers. What the heck happened to Denver's defense? It just shows that having a great pair of corners won't do you much if your front seven is worthless. Eric Mangini, are you taking notes? Wrong.
David: Steelers. Mike Tomlin is the most well-groomed coach in professional sports. Screw Jack Del Rio. Put Tomlin in a suit! Wrong.
John: Steelers. I know the Broncos are home, but this is an awful lot of respect for a team that isn’t all that good. The Steelers have played like the second best team in football early this season. Wrong.
Zach: Steelers. Lisa, please, I can't hear the announcers. He said "Denver just fumbled." Wrong.

Jaguars +3 vs. Colts

Ben: Colts. The Jaguars could end up deciding the AFC this year. Hear me out- the Colts v. Patriots game is being billed by people like me as the game that will decide home field in the playoffs. Well if the Colts win that game, great for them. But they have to play the Jaguars twice this year; who do the Patriots have to fear in division? Their toughest competition might be the Dolphins. These Colts/Jags games could decide more than just the AFC South. They could indirectly decide who wins the Super Bowl this year. Right.
David: Colts. I like the Jags. Really, I do. But I think Indy’s going to open up the throttle a bit in this one, and Jacksonville’s not going to be able to hang. Right.
John: Jaguars. Jax has played Indy well for about three years. They matchup well and play a good physical brand of defense that seems to throw off Peyton’s timing with his wideouts. Take the points, but I think the Jaguars win outright. Wrong.
Zach: Colts. I can't live the button-down life like you. I want it all! The dizzying highs, the terrifying lows, the creamy middles! Sure, I might offend a few of the blue-noses with my cocky stride and musky odors - Oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called "City Fathers" whoi cluck their tongues, stroke their beards, and talk about "What's to be done with this Peyton Manning?" Right.

Last Week

Ben: 5-6-2
David: 8-3-2
John: 2-9-2
Zach: 8-3-2

Season Standings

Zach: 56-39-8
David: 51-44-8
Ben: 39-56-8
John: 33-62-8